In today’s day in age I have no clue why anyone would think that being a mom is hard. It’s easy! Well, easier than our moms had it, right?
As mothers, we’re now expected to be housewives that are Pinterest ready, mothers that are living in one constant Facebook highlight reel, and wives that are Instagram worthy.
In our free time we’re supposed to be creating craft projects that would make Martha Stewart beam. Keep a home that should be on HGTV and make an organic dinner that is so well rounded that it would keep Whole Foods in business. Otherwise our children will suffer because of our carelessness and will die young and painful deaths.
We’re told “breast is best” as our boobs dry up. Or that we must vaccinate to keep our kids healthy, but if we do vaccinate our kids are going to end up autistic.
We’re told that we’re on our iPhones too much since our children are only little once, then we’re told we don’t have to enjoy the day to day chaos of motherhood because motherhood sucks.
But it’s easy and we should have time for all of these things according to the rest of the world because we’re “just a mom.”
Here’s the bottom line:
Being a mom is hard. There are days where you want to put yourself in time out and you want to cry, where all goes to hell and you find a fish carcass in your cupboard, and you feel like you’re handed a big bowl of piss and you’re grateful it’s not beef stew. It’s hard to appreciate all of the moments and there are times when your mommy behaviors are less than stellar. We’re constantly fighting in wars with other mothers and judging each other on thirty second clips. We’re struggling because we don’t know what else to do.
We’re bombarded with images and ideas on how to be the next and the best. Social media has completely changed the landscape of our jobs. We are now not only comparing ourselves (harshly) to the brief interactions at the school and playgrounds, but also to the filtered pictures these “friends” post on Facebook of their successes. We don’t realize that these friends aren’t putting their breakdowns out there, their yelling moments, their Pinterest disasters. We are comparing our behind the scenes to everyone’s highlights.
We are all so insecure with ourselves that we change our course of direction when we see an apparently perfectly manicured and perfectly mothering acquaintance selecting ingredients for what must be her next five course meal in the grocery aisle we were about to go down. We extend our stress filled shopping experience as we rush through without makeup, our kids eat lunch in the cart, and we stare at our haphazardly compiled grocery list on our phone just so we don’t have to exchange pleasantries.
We are not proud.
We are embarrassed by our own existence and modes of survival.
We feel that no one appreciates us and all we do because they only mention that we didn’t fold the last load of laundry or that we look like we haven’t showered in days (which actually may be true).
But motherhood is easy, right?
What none of us realize is that all of us are just getting by. We’re all trying to get by and be the best mothers possible. We all need to check out for a little bit on our iPhones and cry because the days are so long. We all need to realize this too shall pass and we all will come out the other side changed and better because of it. We all need to smile.
As mothers we are now more involved in our children’s lives, our children are more involved in activities, our husbands are more involved in decisions regarding the children, and we still put everyone ahead of ourselves.
We are all burnt out.
We are all tired.
We are all doing our best.
We are all in need of a five minute iPhone break.
We are all loved even when we feel like we are complete failures.
I will tell you the one thing in motherhood that is easy… loving my children more than life itself…especially when they’re asleep.