Being a Mom is Easy

In today’s day in age I have no clue why anyone would think that being a mom is hard. It’s easy! Well, easier than our moms had it, right?

Oh wait.

It’s not.

It’s harder.

As mothers, we’re now expected to be housewives that are Pinterest ready, mothers that are living in one constant Facebook highlight reel, and wives that are Instagram worthy.

In our free time we’re supposed to be creating craft projects that would make Martha Stewart beam. Keep a home that should be on HGTV and make an organic dinner that is so well rounded that it would keep Whole Foods in business. Otherwise our children will suffer because of our carelessness and will die young and painful deaths.

We’re told  “breast is best” as our boobs dry up. Or that we must vaccinate to keep our kids healthy, but if we do vaccinate our kids are going to end up autistic.

We’re told that we’re on our iPhones too much since our children are only little once, then we’re told we don’t have to enjoy the day to day chaos of motherhood because motherhood sucks.

But it’s easy and we should have time for all of these things according to the rest of the world because we’re “just a mom.”

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Here’s the bottom line:

Being a mom is hard. There are days where you want to put yourself in time out and you want to cry, where all goes to hell and you find a fish carcass in your cupboard, and you feel like you’re handed a big bowl of piss and you’re grateful it’s not beef stew. It’s hard to appreciate all of the moments and there are times when your mommy behaviors are less than stellar. We’re constantly fighting in wars with other mothers and judging each other on thirty second clips. We’re struggling because we don’t know what else to do.

We’re bombarded with images and ideas on how to be the next and the best. Social media has completely changed the landscape of our jobs. We are now not only comparing ourselves (harshly) to the brief interactions at the school and playgrounds, but also to the filtered pictures these “friends” post on Facebook of their successes. We don’t realize that these friends aren’t putting their breakdowns out there, their yelling moments, their Pinterest disasters. We are comparing our behind the scenes  to everyone’s highlights.

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We are all so insecure with ourselves that we change our course of direction when we see an apparently perfectly manicured and perfectly mothering acquaintance selecting ingredients for what must be her next five course meal in the grocery aisle we were about to go down. We extend our stress filled shopping experience as we rush through without makeup, our kids eat lunch in the cart, and we stare at our haphazardly compiled grocery list on our phone just so we don’t have to exchange pleasantries.

We are not proud.

We are embarrassed by our own existence and modes of survival.

We feel that no one appreciates us and all we do because they only mention that we didn’t fold the last load of laundry or that we look like we haven’t showered in days (which actually may be true).

But motherhood is easy, right?

What none of us realize is that all of us  are just getting by. We’re all trying to get by and be the best mothers possible. We all need to check out for a little bit on our iPhones and cry because the days are so long. We all need to realize this too shall pass and we all will come out the other side changed and better because of it. We all need to smile.

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As mothers we are now more involved in our children’s lives, our children are more involved in activities, our husbands are more involved in decisions regarding the children, and we still put everyone ahead of ourselves.

We are all burnt out.

We are all tired.

We are all doing our best.

We are all in need of a five minute iPhone break.

We are all loved even when we feel like we are complete failures.

I will tell you the one thing in motherhood that is easy… loving my children more than life itself…especially when they’re asleep.

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Comments

  1. Love love this post!! You are so right, we are all just doing the best we can and sometimes it all just really sucks. I think it is so important to give others the benefit of the doubt and try and just be there for each other and it all can be a little better that way.
    That is also why I try and love those little moments and cherish them as it is the only way to survive all the craziness.

    Oh and one of my pinterest fails that I did post is one of my most popular posts 😉

  2. Totally want to start a pinterest disaster board now – that would have the most pins for sure! This applies to so much more than motherhood, comparison kills if you let it. We can only do what we know how to do and take pride in our disasters

  3. Oh I love this. I love it so very much. And that someecard? The kids are alive and I definitely haven’t showered but I still went to work this morning!

  4. Absolutely! So well said. And that one that says “I smile to hide how completely overwhelmed I am?” That’s me!

  5. Despite not having children of my own, I can totally see how being a mother would be even harder now! When I was a little kid my mother was a stay-at-home mom, and although she did do stuff with us (like teach us how to use those paper muffin wrappers to make flowers, and made cookies with us and took us to the beach) she spent a majority of her time sitting in a chair and drinking beer with the neighbors while my brother and I ran around in the backyard. These days it seems like there is so much pressure to do everything perfect, and make sure your kids are well-dressed and being engaged with crafts and mother-created, Montessori-inspired learning activities at every minute!

  6. Great post, and so important to remember. None of us is super woman or wonder mom. We do what we can with what we’ve got. Being a great mom just means loving your children and letting them know it. Everything else is a bonus.

  7. I loved this post. You are so right. Being a mom is so hard and it doesn’t help with all the added pressure of the world

  8. Couldn’t agree more with what Katie said ^^^ – being a great mama is loving your children each and everyday and caring for them to the best of your ability. It’s not a perfect manicure or shiny floors. We have to let the perfection of pinterest/media go! Visiting from the SITS FB thread today :)

  9. haha, sorry I love the whole article, but the very last line just made me smile! I do love when they sleep :)
    Thanks for reminding us it’s ok to be imperfect and cry and check out. It’s ok to take time for ourselves to be someone other than mom, mommy, wife, cook, etc.

  10. Great article! I’m prone to feel overwhelmed when I see other moms doing it all better. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not the only mom out there that is human.
    Linking in through #ThrowbackThursdaylinkup :)

  11. I’m not a mom, but on behalf of my friends that are moms I can only imagine what every mom goes through! What you said about comparing ourselves to everyone else is true on every level. It’s so easy to forget that most people only share their best on social media! Thanks for linking up to #throwbackthursdaylinkup

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